#278 – Public Restrooms

Whether you like it or not, public restrooms are a part of life. The stalls that slam shut with a sound that could double as a battle cry, the mini trashcans that are just big enough for half a q-tip to be thrown in, the toilet seat covers that don’t protect against a droplet of water (it’s not a droplet of water) let alone Hepatitis C. These are all parts of the public restroom experience whether you’re at five star restaurant with celebrities like Britney Spears or at a Denny’s with people like… Britney Spears. But the worst is when someone is waiting on you to come out, and you’re stuck dealing with the mess of a situation in Stall #3. You do your best with the cards you’re dealt; you get out, let the next person in, and then immediately hear “Oh my God! What kind of person… What kind of animal… Jesus Christ! Sick!” And like in most situations in life, I turn to Shaggy for advice.