They say death is the great equalizer. But I say that it’s actually the freeway. It’s only on the freeway that you can flip off a Nobel Laureate for cutting you off or honk at a nun for driving too slow (warning: do not try this in person). But even on the freeway where everyone should be on an equal playing field, a few drivers stand out among the rest. Some people insist on having vanity license plates to publicly display their sure to be douchebag-esque qualities while driving. So in a desperate attempt to show everyone around you that you’re an “ice princess”, you end up with ICEPNS. And even when you have innocent intentions with something like LOV2TCH, you look like you love to touch little kids. But not to worry; we all certainly get the message. Because no matter how you spell it, your license plate still reads d-o-u-c-h-e-b-a-g. I say you should just cut out the middle man and get DBAG4LFE.