#291 – Your Major

Your major says a lot about you. It says what your interests are, how much money you will probably make,  and how hard you partied in college. What it won’t say is what your future career will be. Ironic, isn’t it? Here’s a rundown of what your major actually does say about you.

Art: You enjoy making your parents cry themselves to sleep every night.

Math: You can follow directions. Congratulations.

Philosophy: You like to spend your free time pondering if a tree makes a sound if it falls in an abandoned forest. Meanwhile, a soundless tree falls on your house and you can’t afford to fix the damages because you majored in philosophy.

Engineering: You hate yourself. Tradeoff: your parents love you.

Political Science: You love the politics of getting into law school.

Latin American Studies: You like to estudiar, patinar, and not-find-a-job-ar.

Physics: You like to study the physical properties of the world to counterbalance the physical contact you don’t have with women.

English: You love books, which is great because the cardboard box you will be living in will be made out of the same material.


Filed under Heathen Events

8 responses to “#291 – Your Major

  1. Paul English

    Do Physics please.

  2. Paul Physics

    Do English please.

  3. babe


    • Communications: You like to study the effects media has on the masses, you yourself being a prime example of the influence shows like The Hills and The City have on young, vulnerable viewers. You can communicate your concerns at the nearest unemployment office.

  4. lauren

    This is pretty entertaining. good work. I went into social work, so none apply to me, but I will pass this on to my art and philosophy friends :)

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