#283 – Sequels

Some of you may not know this, but movies are actually all just living in an awkward limbo. This is why we shouldn’t be upset when our classic favorites get butchered, raped, and murdered in the form a sequel; it’s just Hollywood’s way of opening the door for movies to enter through heaven’s gates. Here’s my list of the top 5 worst sequels of all time:

5. Sex and the City 2. Watch the horse-faced Sarah Jessica Parker on her quest to find Mr. Big; also known in layman’s terms as “bestiality”.

4. Babe: Pig in the City. Paving the way for terrible talking-animal movies for years to come.

3. Little Fockers. Because Robert De Niro wanted to be known for something more iconic than just that one little taxi movie

2. Legally Blonde: Red, White, and Blonde. Tag line says: “Join the party”. Tag line should say: “Join the line to get your money back”.

1. Aladdin: The Return of Jafar. Take a magic carpet ride off a cliff.

All of these legendary classics are coming soon to a bootleg video store near you.

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