#277 – My Name

What’s in a name? Well, to answer your question, Romeo, everything. Everything is in a name. Your name dictates which path you will take in life, and unfortunately for me, I will forever be held back by the name Lara Havatian. You will never hear a coach call out “Havatian, sub in for Parker!” I will never have a style to call my own like Beethovenian or Shakespearean; Havatianian sounds awkwardly redundant and by looking like a misprint, my last name will be assumed to be Havat. And apart from the macro level, my name has always been a nuisance in the small day-to-day events in my life. Every interaction with baristas and hostesses and the like turns into a qualifying round for a spelling bee I didn’t know I was a part of. “Can I have your name, please?” Lara, l-a-r-a, Lara. “Can you use it in a sentence?” Lara was unaware of how low the standards of coffee shop employees have dropped over the past few years, leading her to wonder what the person behind the counter is actually capable of if unable to spell a four-letter word on her own. “Thanks, Laura. And your last name?” Havatian, h-a-v-a-f-u-c-k-i-t, Havatian.

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