#266 – The Sale Section

An awkward zipper, unnecessary buttons, a crusty pattern. The sale section is full of them, but you’ve already braved it to the fitting room so you end up trying them on regardless. “How many items?” Three tops, two of which can double for a parachute and one in a size that wouldn’t fit a fetus. And then it happens: the moment when you realize why it is that the item you picked is on capital S-A-L-E. Most of the time, all you get out of a fitting room session is a fresh deodorant stain on your own clothes and a feeling of dread when you realize that parachute top #2 actually fits you like a glove. But if it’s cheap enough, chances are you’ll end up getting persuaded into buying it. Forget that you haven’t recycled since 1992 or that you think global warming is a total lie; that “Go Green” shirt is kinda sorta almost cute, and it’s only $9.99! Damn it, sale section, you win again. And no returns on sale items? Great.

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