#248 – The sophomore majoring in exaggeration

Cue the theatrics: the inflated sighs, the frustrated book toss, the universally-recognized white flag of a head dropped down on a table; and, of course, can’t forget the 5 hour Family Guy marathon. A frustrated student with an essay due can give Marlon Brando a run for his money. But what’s funny is how a student describes an assignment for a 5 to 25 page paper graded on a check to check plus scale as a 25 page minimum life-changing dissertation. But even after whining about this “huge assignment” for weeks, this same person will be seen an hour before said paper is due stretching out his barely three pages by fiddling with the margins and subtly increasing the size of periods and commas. WWII is now only referred to as World War Two, new paragraphs are created not by adding new sentences but by adding spaces and indentations, and the header now includes your name, professor’s name, class name, date, your address, the name of the hospital you were born at, and any allergies you may have. That paper has “check” written all over it. Someone get this guy his Pulitzer.

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